Monthly Archives: March 2010

Too busy or not too busy, that is the question


As I said in an earlier post, last summer, I spent a lot of time with the Lord in devotional time and prayer. But I forgot to say something in that post. I forgot to say that I lost that habit. Somewhere in the midst of my “busy” life, that precious one-on-one time with my King got cut.

Well, I wanted it back. But it occurred to me that it was no longer requisite of my day. Working with a ministry, you do those things as part of the programming with the students. Plus, we staff, as a team of spiritual guides, know that if we aren’t rooted in the Truth, then we will not bear fruit. So you see, it was a must then. But now, apart from the structure of that summer, it is a choice — a daily, hourly, moment-by-moment choice.

Knowing how much I appreciated that structure and that start of my day, it’s surprising to me that I could let such a habit slide. Well, when I got to thinking about it, I realized it’s easy to let important things slide. Because habits, especially, take a continual commitment. Not a one-time commitment, but continual.

And lately I’ve been catching myself saying things like, “I’m sorry I can’t do that important thing you asked me to do; I have x, y, and z to do.” Or just: “Sorry. Can’t help. Too busy!” What that means is: My stuff is more important to me than your stuff. Ouch. I don’t really want to be that way, you know?

So I asked myself: How do I want to be? Well, I want to serve others and exercise selflessness. I want to be the friend I wish to have. I want to prioritize my time with God. And above all, I want to stop being “too busy” for the things that matter most to me.

Eventually, about a month or so ago, I returned to my morning devo (I very much recommend complimenting scripture with Oswald Chambers’ classic, My Utmost for His Highest). What started as a chore (waking up early) and a discipline (prioritizing this time and not jumping right into work mode) has become the delight of my day. Seriously, I love it. But I have to remember that, because spending quality time with my Father is about the most important thing in life, and if I start saying I’m “too busy” for it, well then, I’m the only one to blame.


What Not to Wear


Last month, my dear friend and pastor, Mike Magura, asked me to join the discussion on dating in front of my whole peer community. At first, I was terrified. Then, I was mortified. “Why the heck did he choose me?”  I wondered. Well, apparently, “I wear my singleness well”. And it took me a while to mine over that statement and figure out what he meant.

I eventually concluded that he is right – so long as I choose to “wear” my singleness like a robe or exterior. Unfortunately, “wearing” something covers up what is underneath. Every day, we choose how we robe, and we clothe ourselves – with fear, with pride, with guilt, with lust. With wounds, scars, and holes underneath. But I want to emphasize something here. We are not what we wear. Nor are we identified by what is underneath. 

In the eyes of the world, it appears that I wear my singleness well. But it did not come without cost. There are layers and layers of significance behind that robe. There are battles and wounds; there is hurt and suffering. And there is, ultimately, surrender.

After all, it is not what I choose to wear, but what I choose to believe that sets me free. And I choose Christ.

By choosing Christ, I know that no one person can fill the void that is in Him, alone. Thus, I am not empty; I am not in want. I am not without. I am loved. Choosing that love has made all the difference. To others, it looks like I “wear” my singleness well. But this is not something I wear, friends. It is deeper within, rooted in Truth, telling me what true love is.

God is love.      – 1 John 4:8

p.s. In the end, I surrendered my fear, and agreed to join the panel discussion and contribute my thoughts – not because I have it all figured out, but because I’ve made so many mistakes. And what is wisdom, if it is not shared?